You Can’t Say That! Cancel culture, free speech and the gentle art of not being a douche bag…
Bloody hell! It’s political correctness gone mad! You can’t say anything anymore without getting cancelled!
Have I got your attention?
Thought so…
Cancel culture makes me nervous, mostly because it is hard to tell the myth from reality.
And now with recent Psychosocial Safety regulations under the Work Health and Safety Act, it’s added a whole new dimension to that anxiety. People are afraid of giving feedback or constructive criticism, they are afraid of having different opinions to their colleagues because they are worried they might get “cancelled”.
But what is “Cancel Culture” and what does it actually mean to get cancelled? More importantly, what happens when we can no longer disagree?
This is where it gets tricky. The meaning of the term “cancel culture” is itself hotly debated. Put simply, cancel culture is “the practice or tendency of engaging in mass canceling as a way of expressing disapproval and exerting social pressure” (Merriam-Webster).
The debate, however, lies in whether you see cancel culture as a call for more accountability and social justice, or whether you see it as censorship, punishment and large scale bullying. In fact, some people argue that it doesn’t even exist at all.
Either way, there is a real sense that the phrase is being grossly misused. The “cancellers” are haphazardly calling for people to be removed from society, something which is both unrealistic and reductive.
Then there’s the “cancelled” who publicly perpetuate a thinly-veiled attempt at playing the victim, but who are often the same ones who forget they have the privilege of doing so in front of a fanbase that’s still largely intact. Hardly the position of someone that’s been eradicated from society.
I mean, let’s be honest, Christmas hasn’t been cancelled, Harry Potter is still a thing, furries are not taking over our schools’ bathrooms and brainwashing our kids, you will not lose your home if you do an acknowledgement to country, and no one can actually stop you from saying or thinking whatever you bloody well like!
I mean if that was the case, there wouldn’t be as many douche bags, shock jocks or shit-stirrers around…fuck it, the fact that Donald Trump is very nearly the leader of the free world again is proof that you can’t actually cancel anything!
But the power of the media and technology to keep us divided by stoking the fire of self-righteous indignation, fuels the perpetual outrage of the culture wars that creates a false binary about “cancel culture”, and it needs to be unpacked.
On the one hand there are some very good reasons for calling people out when they do something hurtful:
• To serve as a teaching moment;
• To get the person to consider the consequences of their statements;
• To expose racism, sexism, ableism and other forms of discrimination or inequality;
• To get people to think before they speak;
• To hold someone accountable for their statements or behaviours.
But the anxiety caused by cancel culture is real too.
Unfortunately, canceling can often turn into bullying. If you've been canceled, you may feel ostracised, socially isolated, and lonely. It can feel as if everyone is giving up on you before you've even had the chance to apologise (let alone change your behaviour). Instead of creating a dialogue to help you understand how your actions hurt others, you are shut off from all communication, robbed of the opportunity to learn and grow from your mistakes.
In this way canceling doesn't generally bring about a change to beliefs or behaviours. In fact, it can have the opposite effect, making people dig in their heels in an effort to defend their ego and reputation. I know I find it really hard to empathise with others or to learn and grow when I am defending myself or dealing with my own feelings of shame and exclusion.
And cancel culture can even wreak havoc on onlookers’ mental health. As mentioned, even the fear of being cancelled can cause psychosocial harm.
Seeing people being “canceled”, can create overwhelm and anxiety over the fear that you will be turned on if you fully express yourself. This can cause people to keep their thoughts and feelings bottled up, remaining silent instead of talking about and working through their opinions and emotions.
Even Obama has called out “woke” cancel culture for lacking compassion - stating that people need to be more resilient and recognise that cancelling is not activism and is often more about virtue signalling than bringing about any real change.
But we are in a period where the status quo IS being challenged…and that is a good thing. And I can’t help but notice the hypocrisy of calling people snowflakes while simultaneously claiming to be the victims of an organised assault on freedom of speech as soon as there is a call for change.
In any case, cancel culture means different things to different people. Maybe cancel culture is simply misnamed? Perhaps it should be called “consequence culture” or “accountability culture” instead? Or here’s a novel idea…how about empathy culture?
When done in good faith, we can have robust conversations about the consequences of public misbehaviour, how and when to rehabilitate the reputation of someone who’s been “canceled,” and who gets to decide those things.
Taken in bad faith, however, it becomes an ever-present, all knowing and dangerous menace: a woke, mob of online “do-gooders” that’s ready to attack anyone, even other progressives, at the smallest sign of dissent. And it’s this fear of a mindless pack of cancel-happy rabble-rousers — that conservatives have used to their political advantage, weaponising the terms “woke” and “cancel culture” to portray whomever is doing the canceling as wielding power against the innocent victims of the thought police.
What I know is that great things happen when everyone feels safe to contribute, even when it may challenge the status quo. That’s because healthy cultures are open, inclusive and value diversity. And true diversity means that we should be able to hold space for disagreement and discomfort.
Now, I’m gonna go right out and say this…I have noticed a general inability to deal with discomfort (on a number of levels) and it is important to recognise that feeling uncomfortable is not the same as being unsafe. When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short term discomfort for long term dysfunction. And I think we can see how that dysfunction is playing out in our lives right now.
Psychological safety is the feeling that it’s OK to take risks, to express ideas and concerns, to speak up with questions, and to admit mistakes. It is the felt permission to be candid and to learn and grow from our experiences.
We simply cannot have psychological safety if we cannot have healthy conflict and disagreement.
When people feel psychologically safe, they are more likely to engage in open, honest, and constructive discussions, ultimately leading to a healthier and more productive environment where people can learn from mistakes and differences.
If we can see resistance and conflict as a window into deeper needs, we can get curious, not furious, and use it as an opportunity for personal and group learning and a tool for increasing understanding, trust and cohesion.
One powerful way to cultivate psychological safety is by having Brave Conversations, where we can talk openly about the big issues without excessive fear of being cancelled. Conversations that avoid blaming or discounting or invalidating the experiences and feelings of others.
We need to engage each other with honesty, open-mindedness, and vulnerability; to listen deeply to better understand each other’s perspective; and to sustain the conversation when it gets uncomfortable or diverted. Now more than ever, we need opportunities to navigate this division in ways that opens up dialogue, rather than shutting it down.
For every misplaced call for someone to be cancelled – there’s a bigot out there claiming ‘cancel culture’ is the reason why they’ve been called out for their bullshit. Leading to the notion that free speech is a dying art at the hands of the ‘woke brigade’. This is a lie.
Most of us are fortunate enough to live in a space where free speech has never been more prevalent. That’s not to say it doesn’t come without any repercussions.
Free speech is fundamental to a healthy society. We need a community of enquiry, not just a community of consensus, or we will forever be trapped in the echo chambers and epistemic bubbles that are created for us by the algorithms of social media (that are almost as hard to escape as cults).
But that freedom needs to be balanced with equity and accountability, otherwise it risks being transformed into impunity, where that freedom of expression can be used to abuse and marginalise others, usually the weak; where reason, respect, responsibility and understanding have all come under fire.
And this is where the anthropological concept of cultural relativism can be useful. Cultural Relativism emphasises the importance of understanding other peoples’ cultural practices, beliefs, and norms within their own cultural context, without judging them against our own standards or values.
It recognises that different groups and cultures have their own unique ways of viewing the world and that these perspectives are shaped by historical, social, and environmental factors.
Cultural relativism encourages us to approach differences with openness, empathy, and respect, acknowledging that what may be considered normal or acceptable to us may be perceived differently to another.
While cultural relativism promotes tolerance and understanding of diversity, it does not mean you can’t still hold beliefs about what is morally right or wrong. I still take a moral stand and have my own (very strong) ideas of what is right and wrong, its just that I can situate those ideas within my own cultural and historical context, as well as contextualising it within other parts of my identity that shape the way i see things; my gender, class, educational privilege, physical ability etc.
Listening to people we disagree with is important, not only for a healthy democracy, but to also expand our own worldview. Public figures and institutions need to be “called out”, people need to be “called in” but as a society we need to “call on” one another to make a difference. And we can’t do that if we are perpetually divided.
We already know how to cancel, perhaps it’s time to know how to forgive? As my good buddy Dr Tim Dean writes “This kind of “public forgiveness” is an important part of a healthy moral community. Without it, the community pursues a purity culture that only knows how to push people out.”
Perhaps its time to employ an approach that values compassion over self-righteousness - one that acknowledges that that everyone is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. An approach that acknowledges that everyone struggles and that nobody purposefully comes from a place of ignorance or bad faith. And if we can seek to understand, rather than punish, we might remember that we, as humans, have more in common that we have to divide us. That if we are to make a difference, we need to do it together.
And for this to happen, we need to see the people behind the hashtag!
Public shaming has gone too far…AND people need to be more mindful of the impact of their words and actions.
We need to be more resilient AND we need to be more sensitive, thoughtful and respectful…both things can be true.
Dr Monty Badami is an Anthropologist and the Founder of Habitus. He combines evolutionary evidence with cross-cultural research to demonstrate how our creativity, diversity and imperfection, is actually the secret to our adaptability and success as a species.
He has spent most of his research living with the Paniya, a marginalised indigenous group in India, who were slaves until recently. However, he now works closer to home, where he delivers transformative workshops that help people put more meaning and joy back into their lives.
Monty supports organisations to improve their performance and gain a competitive edge by embracing our humanity and nurturing collaborative and inclusive cultures.
He runs a series called “Brave Conversations”, where he uses his anthropological knowledge to talk about what it means to be human, as well as challenge the norms of toxic masculinity as well as other stereotypes of class, ethnicity, gender, sexuality and race.